|
PhilosophicalMusings
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: John Birthday: 12/25/1986 Gender: Male
Interests: Studying for the time being. Expertise: Procrastinating for the time being. Occupation: Other Industry: Other
Message: message me AIM: JBaker1225
Member Since:
5/3/2004
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| I have a cold. It's like 90 degrees outside. These two ideas are entirely contradictory. I have been blowing my nose so much that I need to ration my j-ing o because I'm running out of tissues.
Heather lives with us now. She's a blast. But she doesn't run around the apartment in her underwear enough. That's what Motney thinks at least. His words, not mine. Seriously. She came home completely wasted last night and spilled the icing from Domino's Cinna-stix on the chair. She then accused me of "jizzing on the chair" for the next half hour and insisted I clean it up. So just to show her who was boss, I DID jizz on the chair.
I've been watching info-mercials for the last hour and it's pretty sweet. There's one for this thing called a Trikke (pronounced "trike"... yeah, the double K is fucking batshit retarded) that is like a scooter, but with two back wheels on seperate platforms... and instead of pushing off the ground or pedaling you somehow squeeze your legs back and forth apart as a propulsion method. I don't know, I think it's the same sort of exercise girls do to keep their vigagag (pronounced "vijajaj") tighter.
Motney got this book called "Make Her Chase You" that teaches you how to pick up chicks. The guy who wrote it is genuinely funny, and it's an entertaining read and makes a whole lot of sense in principle. Once we start following through with the techniques I figure we'll average about 5 blowjabes a day. 5.2 if you take into account leap years.
I accidentally invented the word "blowjabes" today when I stumbled over the Superbad-ian infamous term "blow-j." It was kinda like that time in Alladin where he told all the teenage girls to take off their clothes when he was trying to promote self-worth or some bullshit. But I'm gonna let you in on something teenage girls, Alladin was hung like Ron Jeremy, so you really missed out if you weren't following his advice. He wasn't fucking around when he said he'd "take you wonder by wonder". ...at least I've heard.
In case you didn't know, me and Motney made a song about boners and shit (sadly I'm being completely serious) that you can listen to at http://www.myspace.com/wwanh There's a video of us playing it on YouTube too, but I'm too lazy to look up the link. Search "Motney" on there if you have some sick fantasies and wanna see it.
I want to create an Internet sit-com based on Motney sitting on the couch playing video games and me sitting next to him talking about random shit. Originally, I wanted every episode to be about me being homophobic and talking about how I'm NOT gay. But I didn't want any of those gay right faggots getting all uppity about it, so I decided to take the high road and just refer to them as "gay right faggots" in my blog. Motney is still on the fence about the idea and keeps bringing up trivial crap about how we don't have a "camera" or "website" or "funny ideas." Seriously, how much more unnecessarily negative can you get?
I'm passing out. Don't take advantage of me. But you're such a nice guy, I know you'd never hurt me. | | |
| I've had one of these for a little while, but I just got a new one and have noticed it's starting to get kinda popular or something. Click on the chart to check it out.
My Recently Played Tracks:

http://www.sendspace.com/file/94hwsj
| | |
| How can good memories be so depressing? I hate college. I hate growing up. This isn't my home anymore. I don't know what is. I want a time machine. Not to change anything about my past, but to relive it. Even the shitty times. I wouldn't dare change a thing. Life is a bitch the way it does this to you, huh? I miss everything and everyone I've ever known. Things will never be the same, and we're just supposed to accept that. I don't have that kind of strength or maturity. The last three years of my life seem like they're taunting me. I'm not ready for the responsibility that's being thrown at me. But all I can do is use these old memories to build upon a stronger future. To gain that responsibility and just know that most of the fun is gone. Oh, what depressingly great memories. Sorry for not shrouding my insecurities with humor. | | |
| I'm not going to lie. In the history of my bad ideas, in terms of the overall effect on my future, this is probably one of the worst. The clock reads 6:13 am, but that's nothing. I have an understanding music paper due in five hours. I haven't started. I have a Spanish test in 9 hours. I haven't studied. I'm sitting here typing in my Xanga. I haven't slept. Instead I'm waiting for the library to open in a little over an hour so I can look at the University's floorplans.
The night started like any other night. I had some Couch Express, kept Megan up past her bedtime, and sat around my room with the guys. That is until I read an article on the internet detailing one former student's adventures through the secret underground tunnels at the University of Texas. Now, these tunnels are legendary on almost all college campuses, but I couldn't find a thing on the internet mentioning any tunnels here at OU. Deciding that they must exist, we accepted it as our duty to the public to find these tunnels and do something ridiculous with them, forever solidifying ourselves as Oklahoma legend.
We began by exploring random rooms and tunnels in the basement of Couch, but other than uncovering a few blueprints of the building, we came up empty handed. Next, we moved onto Adams, deciding that it's more elaborate setup might lead to more success in our search. We did end up finding a strange hallway in the basement, but Tyler heard someone in there before we could check it out, and we hauled ass to safety.
We didn't want to give up there though, so we continued combing the campus, and only finding a few unopenable grates that could possibly lead to something more underneath. We decided to call it quits and started walking back towards the dorms. Right in front of Walker we came across another grate and didn't think much of it until Tyler noticed that light could be seen if you looked at it from a certain angle. We got closer, and finally found proof that all of our searching was not for nothing. Clearly visible about 20 feet below us was a tunnel lined with what appeared to be electrical and plumbing tubes. This was obviously no place for us to enter, however, so we're still looking for an entrance to the tunnels.
This basically brings me to here: sitting in the computer lab next to Scotty, wait for the cafeteria and library to open so we can get some food and hopefully discover some way to get into these tunnels. The secret may yet be in that hall we fled from in Adams, but I'm hoping locked doors don't prevent us from getting down there. This probably made no sense because it is 6:30 in the morning now, but if anyone knows anything about being awesome and getting into the tunnels, tell me. I need to be up for another 10 hours and after that I'll be asleep for 3 or 4 days, so try to contact me after that.
Update: Scotty and I are now sitting in the library. We can't really find anything. Most of the library staff isn't here yet, so it's pretty useless. Scotty ate what might be considered the most unbalanced breakfast possible. It consisted of: a donut, Cinnamon Toast Crunch in chocolate milk, buiscuts and sausage covered in gravy, and a Coke. We have done very little work on our understanding music papers. Doing things at the last possible second is always more fun anyways. | | |
| I was just reading my old Xangas. I used to be fucking funny. Men wanted to be me, women wanted to be on top of me, Motney wanted to be behind me...wait... yeah, Motney wanted to be behind me. I used to just enjoy life more I guess. You know you truly enjoy life when you can just fully appreciate every ounce of racist humor that flows through your body. When you can drive around town with the windows down and the volume up screaming "Responsibility! What's that?" at the top of your lungs. When a penis is much more than a means of reproduction, but a means of immature humor. What happened? Either Bright Eyes or puberty; I'm still not sure.
It is currently 3:57 am. I am dying of laughter because Motney just said "I'm hungry for some pussy," in his sleep. That is a direct quote. This is way too funny for me to be making up. My appreciation for life has tripled.
Random things running through my head:
- I'm doing pretty well in school so far this semester. All A's and high B's so far, so hopefully I won't disappoint my parents as much as I did last semester. - I'm glad I moved away from The Drake, but I feel like I'm losing touch with my last semester friends. That seems like the theme of college: lose as many friends as possible. The people I talk to today might be nothing more than names in a cell phone a year from now. - Stephen, Motney, Jeremy, Mike, Fran. If I have learned anything so far in college, it's that these are my true friends. And I only see one of them on a regular basis. Spring Break is coming up, and of all the places in the world, I can't think of a better place to spend it than at Whataburger with these guys. - When I'm at school I can't wait to go back home, and when I'm home I can't wait to get back here. Maybe I should just camp out somewhere around the Red River and call it a compromise. - Our lives are nothing more than finite specks on the infinite timeline of the galaxy. Sieze the day. "Make your lives extraordinary." - The Publisher's Clearing House winner gets $5,000 a week for life. Money can buy happiness. And something that feels kinda like love. - I was talking about hookers with that last statement. - Just in case anybody didn't get the joke. - For some reason whenever I start thinking, I get depressed. It's more fulfilling to act than think anyway. - Oklahoma needs more Mexicans. These sidewalks are still entirely too icy. - Scotty is funnier than me and Motney combined but very few people know it. - I wish I could turn back time and not say that and not ruin the moment. - I think I'm just writing for the sake of having lots of bullets at this point. | | |
|